was waiting for fi to end work today, and i had satisfy the itch-with vinyls
besides, new shipment was in,spent wee close to 4 hrs in the record store. bought loads worth of prog house,tech house,tribal. among all best remembered is deep dish. just spent the next 3 hrs with my decks. best bite.
swing me to bed.

....jason said " u have your blog pages printed out in the printers man.pages after pages..." oh ok. what's that suppose to be? again, no one has an idea of the source.thanks for mentioning by the way. or is it you who is playing pranks again.haha. in any case, to whom it may concern; even if u'll like to disseminate such info about my blog which seemed to be utter rattlings, whatever your intentions may be do cover your ass as we clearly know officers are around. clearly, these intentions of yours totally crack me up.

cool it guys, im not a wee bit pissed.y shld i? been down with the sick bugs. ha. sniff,cough,usuals.

i reckon it's best if you outta know this. as much as ive been told not to mention any of these to u,as others advised, as things will still be the same. the tension can be felt can it? im sorry. i didn't mean to. but i guess after all these times i treated you above the rest of my friends, u ought to know how i feel. you are my closest friend, doubt any will beg to differ. was there for you at your deepest times. if u could, u'll spill out every of your complaints to me, and i listen. being supportive at every time. trust me, i put your feelings above the rest, did i mention, even above fi. maybe it didn't occur to you, or it was never enough. picking you up, cancel plans with everyone else to meet you (when you're down). rushing to places to meet you coz i know my good friend doesn't like to wait. the list goes on. many spelt it clearly to me that you're a person like this, need people to be giving most of the time. i accepted it. but i guess no one will ever come this close to realise how tiring it is. why u may ask. it occurs to me that all you need is a figurine you approach at your worst times. maybe things are not as bad as i think. maybe. but will i ever know that my good friend will ever realise that she has been living within her own bubble everyday? find me evil. but your own friends feel that way too. no one tells you cause everyone knows u will just deny all the above.
simply, i've never bothered much about friendships. and this entire month loads of events happen that totally blew me away. friendships that i never given much thought happens to be the ones who i can realy relate to. for 2 yrs, i thought i put in a considerable effort for your day in august, have i?........
u may question, how many times u called for a gathering, but i declined. honestly as ive mentioned ive been busy with work. frankly, i appreciate u for asking.
previously, u said i have been spending more time with friends i just knew. yes ive been spending time with them, but i refuse to believe that its taking over times i have with my close friends.
oh and did i mention, times when you say u dun feel appreciated? many of those times, i feel like drilling into you that.."hey and how about me?! im the one not been appreciated!" and times that i get so mad, i feel like telling you "u have friends that u think do not appreciate you, pls wake up and stop drowning yourself in self-pity" i didn't even spit a complain to u abt me not been appreciated!!
over time, its becoming a reality that everything i do, that is not right nor its up to your taste, its entirely my fault, cause one reason or another, there's something to find fault with me.
i'm tired. tired of expecting anything. the last thing i expected before i told myself that was it, was, been hoping "a simple surprise from you". which every yr you had.
things you do unknowingly justifies these feelings i had.
as much as i do not want issues to be spilled out like this. i just cant find any other means to put the message across to you.
to you:: advises have been given over and over again ever since i don't remember when about me putting in so much for this friendship, but yet i chose disbelieve. today, ive gotten only myself disappointments. and believe me, now u've read thru these, things aint' gonna get better as i know you my friend, nothing i said was ever right.
be at eased, i never blamed you. As i know, to you, you have done your part as a friend. I guess between all the 'givings' there bound to be expectations, and maybe i should have never expect anything.

to those who don't seem to figure out what in the world i've scribbled or maybe would like to provide your stand.........simply step aside.

one with great patience and high-tolerance. althou undeniably at times frustrated with her own decisions. as such; "u know how long ive been waiting? why can't you go to school earlier.."rattlings. apart, providing stationery tools ever since my term started. i started with no writing tools, slowly with a pen, then pencil and eraser and yesterday, she decided it was it! i needed a calculator, so she got one for me. sweet deal!
she won't even dare kill an ant, cliched. but thinking back how she teared when she stepped on a snail, trust me u'll feel so sorry for the snail as well.
bi-weekly, to bi-monthly taking time off to come over to spring clean my corner. slowly giving up, but its ok.=) ha. plus plus..can't deny i cant be bothered wit wad i put on to go out everyday. almost every fridays, she forced this" rem to wear more formal tom ok?" and there i go scratching my head with my wardrobe, darn. i pick clothes up from the top, meaning (whatever that is washed lately is put on the top, so i grab it.) simple, i do mix and match, if its good den great, if it suck......... fuck it. surprisingly, she nevr said "i put on a wrong shirt on today". so there, good sign *wink*
.............im a bad egg, friends knows that, she knows that. to add on, a rotten one. am i that bad?
but she still lives with it, (hoping she can't live without it.)
always supportive with my daily chores. waiting hours and hours in a record store for me to select or listening to demos after demos, (i'll be bored to shit too)
watching me in the tennis courts or in de golf range, which did i mention, she does not know the basics of the game. (so when does her patience run out??).
now coming to the norms - whenever i'm working, she gets dinner for me right up to my desk. (which inturn, i did too.=) ), when im down with little sick bugs, she's there nagging down on me to see the doctor. and before i know, she's right beside me. stress and boiled mood, she does little things to turn me around. the tears she poured, make me feel like fuck all the time. (how the hell u do that? and why?).
not forgetting her long waiting list of sweet admirers out there, sometimes u feel they just deserve her more den i do.
words: romantic dinners, lovely gifts and surprises, showering one with loads of sweet nothings, would be trash if the person i mentioned was not you.
frens of mine, don think im a fucking emotional little irritating turd sending his little sweet notes via WWW, no im not. it's just that, i don't have a friendster account(n not planning to get one) and Fi just got hers a few days back...
SO....can anyone be as nice as to put this msg across to her thru friendster??? hahaha. rainingtomatoes@hotmail.com u call it testimonials right? fine, jus fooling ard. doesnt matter if it gets to her.
just felt like trashing these thots out. bored like jellyfish in the office.
h.u.n.g.r.y as usual.

finally loaded swissotel photos up.
go peep.

these day's are just me and my decks...just so rejuvenating.

met up with syl and mel at coffee club on friday. had lots to catch up on. infact many things to update about. aside, we headed down to mt faber to cont talking, hoping to catch couples out there 'making out'.ha. went for a spin ard tj pagar. believe me, gay scenes r more exciting. sadly, only cld find a few of my frenz willing to get into gay clubs, apart frm my gay buds.
little 'talks' on friday...